Peace. Or so it seems. But is it really?

It looks like a peacefull time, moving into the summertime season.

But i can't help but feeling a lit restless.

Things haven't worked out yet,  the way i planned it to and i am a planner. Someone who likes to think ahead. But somehow this months: it just aint working. 

I experience a form of battle. Where it comes from? I do not exactly know, but it is there. Waiting around the corner. Swearming around in my head. The feeling of something unsettled, something undone. Some destractions and de-tours. An illusion of Peace. 

There are still some challenges: i haven't started working out my idea's of an new Art idea yet. Its like everything is there: i know what i actually want to make, but i can't put my hands to start with the sketches or filling 'dummy's'. 

Peace is not only a momentum: it is a state of mind also. And i can't seem to find it right now. I feel like it is storming inside: a whole bunch of idea's about my new work, but it just doesn't come out. It is just like it needs to stay in there and linger a bit more, in the back of my mind. Hate the feeling.

Since i have no other choice than to accept that this is the way it is, i try to find rest in just being in the moment en prepairing myself for the time my mind seems to think that i have time to work things out. While waiting on my body to follow the thought of making the actual piece of art, i decided to spend my time useful.

I actually started collecting moments, 'art trouvé' (like little objects or fabrics that i could work with) and pictures of things that inpire me. I decided not just to wait till the peace is far to be found and so i did with the thought of making plans for summer holiday:

I finally planned that trip to Egypt, knowing that it is a restless time, with the war in nearby country (Israel) going on. But i took the risk: planning to carry out dreams - or making time to working on your piece of art, might not alway be at a appropriate moment. But if you wait until the storm(s) subsides, plans may change, things may never happen. So just take a wave. Try tot take things as they come. Fill your -in-between- time with usefull prepairing. And than find the peace to carry out your plan, do not stay focused on external matters, but try to create peace and room for 'taking some sort of action' within yourself.

Try to be at peace in the midst of a storm. Even if you are at war with yourself and your own feelings and you know for yourself that so called 'inner peace' you are showing to people around you, is just pretending:

Well, Pretend.

Let hope lead the way, true inner peace will hopefully soon follow!

If not: you have found the courage to walk after the illusion or followed that dream or actually finished that Artwork. It's not the beginning that counts: what is more important than giving in to a restless feeling is looking forward to the satisfaction you may find in actually finishing what you started. Or carrying out what you had planned. 

Your art work will be great. I'm sure of it.

Just as my trip to Egypt will be.